


Love, war, and statistics

by slugmutt



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Jyn messes up K-2's equations, POV K-2SO, and he is going to figure out why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:40:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28557021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slugmutt/pseuds/slugmutt
Summary: Humans may be illogical, but at least statistics always makes sense.Or at least, it does until one Jyn Erso gets involved.
Relationships: Cassian Andor & K-2SO, Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Jyn Erso & K-2SO
Comments: 32
Kudos: 146





	Love, war, and statistics

Jyn Erso is worse than a risk. She is a statistical anomaly.

Cassian is not nearly as concerned as the information warrants.

“Don’t worry about it, Kay,” are his precise words.

Kay adds a note to his files regarding Cassian’s apparent apathy to imminent risks to his health. The situation may be worse than he thought.

“You come under fire 33% more often when you work with Jyn Erso,” he repeats. “I know that human brains struggle to understand the significance of statistical data, so I will clarify: that is a lot.”

“It’s not Jyn’s fault,” Cassian says, 0.2 seconds too quickly. The odds that he has given sufficient thought to this statement are extremely low. “Probably just an increase in stormtrooper activity.”

“Do you think I’m some idiot protocol droid?” Kay asks. “I took that possibility into account.” He pauses. “It is not,” he adds, in case Cassian’s (apparently malfunctioning) analytical capabilities did not suffice to parse his meaning. “A general increase. It is only you.”

“Have my odds of surviving to retirement dropped again, then?” Cassian asks. His tone is far too casual for Kay’s liking.

Cassian’s tone aside, the question is a useful one. Kay’s recent analyses have been focused on the short-term.

He runs his monthly 50-year analysis. The results are… unexpected.

“No,” he informs Cassian. “In fact, your chances have risen by 5%.”

Cassian looks up, surprise on his face. His expression then morphs into something Kay struggles to categorize. “Well then. Sounds like there’s no problem.”

“You can’t survive to age 80 without surviving to 28, first,” Kay warns him. Cassian just smiles.

Kay ends the conversation in favor of re-running his analyses. Something is off. He hopes it’s not his mathematical processing routines.

The next time, Kay tries Bodhi. Three months of data suggest that Bodhi is the member of their team most likely to express concern over potentially-fatal actions, whether his own or those of others.

“Jyn Erso lowers Captain Andor’s odds of survival by 12% per skirmish,” he tells Bodhi on the way to Ryloth.

“Good morning to you too, Kay,” Bodhi says, rubbing his eyes.

“The term ‘morning’ is utterly meaningless in the void of space,” Kay informs him. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Something about Jyn making Cassian less safe?” Bodhi shakes his head. “I know you hate to hear this, but there might be something wrong with your data. Jyn would never put Cassian at risk. Well, at more risk than the mission requires.” For reasons Kay is unable to determine, he lowers his voice to a pitch passing humans would be unlikely to overhear before saying, “If anything, she protects him.”

“Then can you explain why Cassian has been on the receiving end of 20% more near-fatal shots when with Jyn Erso than without her?” Kay demands. “And that’s only the ones I’ve seen.”

Bodhi shrugs. “Maybe it’s a statistical fluke, Kay.”

“The odds of that are – “

“Yeah, yeah,” Bodhi says, turning to walk toward the ship’s makeshift kitchen. “Can this wait until after I’ve had some caf?”

His proposal is acceptable. However, when they reach the kitchen, they encounter Cassian and Jyn, and the conversation ends by necessity.

Kay notes that until he and Bodhi walked in, Cassian and Jyn were sitting 70% closer than humans normally do when they interact. There is no place for this data in his equations, but he saves it to his short-term memory nonetheless.

Jyn Erso turns out to be the only one worried by his analysis. He didn’t even bother to calculate the odds of that outcome.

In his defense, Jyn has never, in any situation, been the only one worried. Not since he began observing her – and, if her file is any indication, probably not ever in her life. In fact, when situations occur in which only a single member of the crew is not worried, 67% of the time that one person is Jyn Erso.

“You’re saying I put Cassian at risk?” she asks, setting down the blaster she’s been repairing. Her tone is unusually quiet. Kay’s Emotional Estimation Unit suggests a variety of possible causes for the change, among them homicidal rage (based on recent observations, Kay rates this option highly likely), guilt (unlikely) and horror (results inconclusive).

“No,” Kay says. “I am saying that when he is with you, Cassian puts himself at risk.”

Humans are so very bad at understanding the nuances of statistical analysis. It is good that he does not have the capacity for impatience.

“That’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

“No,” he says. “But the two can easily be confused by someone of your limited intellect,” he adds, so that she won’t feel bad about her mistake.

She scowls. “Look, bolt-brains, either tell me how to fix it or go away.”

“Is a personality overhaul an option?” She glares. “No, I thought not.”

She is silent for a long time, by human standards. “If I left…" Ten seconds pass. “If I left, would Cassian be safe?”

“’Safe’ is not a well-defined term. If it were, I doubt it would apply to any of us, considering the Empire is bent on our destruction.”

“So help me, Kay, answer the damn question or you’ll spend tomorrow in maintenance.”

That one was definitely homicidal rage.

“If you left, Cassian’s odds of surviving the next six months would drop by ten percent.”

She goes completely still. “I – but… that doesn’t make any sense!”

“Believe me, I am aware of that,” Kay tells her.

“So I make Cassian unsafe, but also more safe?”

Kay decides that this interpretation of the results is as close to the truth as she’s likely to get. “Yes. And his odds of long-term survival without you only get lower and lower over time, even as his odds of short-term survival with you drop.”

She stares at the broken blaster as if it has answers. Which it doesn’t, of course, but Kay has learned that it’s better not to try to explain these things to her. “Should I stay, then?” She looks at Kay. “What’s best for Cassian?”

“It is better that you stay,” he says immediately. The results may be frustratingly contradictory, but they are clear.

There’s another long moment of silence, in which Jyn Erso’s eyes begin to water. The odds that she is crying are, in his estimation, astronomically low. Still, a sweep of the area for potential allergens reveals nothing. He adds the information to his databank to analyse later.

“You sure there’s nothing wrong with your wiring?” she finally asks.

Kay draws himself up to his full height. This is a move that usually intimidates humans. Although he has known for some time that it is highly unlikely to be effective against Jyn.

“My wiring is fine,” he tells her. “ _You_ are a statistical anomaly.”

Another scowl is her most likely response. But instead she shrugs, her lips quirking into a smile. “I’ve been called worse.”

Cassian is disturbed to hear of his conversation with Jyn. Another possibility he hadn’t considered. Later, he will ask Cassian to review his processing sub-routines to ensure they have not been corrupted.

“You told her _what_?”

Cassian’s tone and body language clearly indicate extreme anxiety. “I merely informed her that you are at increased risk in her presence,” Kay says.

“You – Kay, you can’t just say these things!” Cassian’s anxiety has, if anything, increased. “Where is she? Is she – “

He stops, and takes a deep breath, holding it for a second before letting it out. Kay has seen him use this technique before to avoid panic in near-death situations. It is unclear why he is using it now.

“Is Jyn still on base?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“Good.” Some of the tension leaves his muscles. “That’s good.”

“She will not leave unexpectedly,” Kay tells him. “I have informed her that doing so would reduce your odds of long-term survival, and she agreed with me that that is an unacceptable outcome.”

“She… You…” Cassian looks confused. “I thought you just said I’m at increased risk with her,” he finally manages.

Humans. Even the best of them are so easily confounded by simple mathematics.

“You take greater risks when you are with Jyn Erso. But you take fewer risks when you are not with her than you used to take when alone, and your eating and sleeping habits are far more favourable to long-term survival than they were this time last year. Overall, your odds of long-term survival have improved significantly.”

Cassian blinks repeatedly. It could be a sign of intense emotion, although given Cassian’s recent difficulties with statistics, Kay fears it may be a sign of reduced intellectual processing speed.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Kay adds, when Cassian still hasn’t responded 8.2 seconds later.

Cassian clears his throat. His voice is still hoarse when he says, “Maybe it does, Kay. Maybe I’m more anxious to get back home alive, now that I have someone to come home to.”

He considers the option. “So in the short term you take risks to protect Jyn Erso, but in the long term, she protects you?”

“More than that.” Cassian is looking at the wall, now, although Kay detects nothing of interest there. “She gives me a reason to survive. Humans… Self-protection isn’t just a subroutine for us. It’s…”

Cassian pauses, and Kay uses the extra time to re-run his analyses, taking this new information into account.

“I’m in love with her,” Cassian says. He sounds surprised.

“Your explanation is adequate,” Kay replies. “The anomaly has been resolved.”

Cassian manages a faint smile. “Glad to hear it.”

Kay waits five seconds before asking, “Does this mean you would disapprove of any attempt to rewire Jyn Erso’s personality? With the sole goal of changing her short-term risk-assessment subroutines.”

“Humans don’t have subroutines, Kay. And you can’t rewire them.”

“Humans have neural pathways, and I could – “

“ _No_ , Kay.”

Jyn Erso remains unpredictable. Kay has had to update his analyses – and fine-tune his emotional estimation capacities – a full 5.7 times more often than is standard for droids of his type.

It doesn’t matter, as long as Cassian’s well-being is ensured. Which it is, for a very, very long time.


End file.
